Instilling values

I've mentioned this before, but, long before I was even with my husband, I've been keeping an ear to the ground for child-rearing tips, clues, etc. I mean, it's the most important job I'll have right? And I don't mean that the way that I think a lot of people say it. I think a lot of people say it because its the most difficult job you'll ever have, but it truly is important.

This is another human being you are bringing into the world. And, as lame as this might sound, I want this new addition to the planet to not only be a good person, but I want them to be a contribution to the planet. I don't mean that my child needs to grow up to be a scientist and cure cancer, but I want them to be worthwhile.

There are a lot of douchebags on the planet, lets be honest. There are people who are not decent. Not decent to other people, not decent to animals, not decent to the planet. People who are a drain on our respective countries resources, people who take, but never give back. People who are ignorant, cruel, mean, self-centered, or just plain useless.

Don't get me wrong. I am not sitting here thinking that mine is the only halo with shine on it. I know that at times in my life, I am that exact person I am talking about above.

But only for brief moments.

There are people out there who are that person 24 hours out of the day.

I want to have children grow up to be polite, respectful and grateful. I want them to be so secure in themselves and in their place in the world that they can do good things. And again, I don't mean great things, necessarily, but good things. I want a child who will stick up for the one small, bullied child on the playground. A child who will genuinely want to collect UNICEF money for underprivileged kids in disadvantaged countries, and not just because its what you do while you are getting candy at Halloween. I want a kid who will be tolerant of all people, and all their differences. Someone who thinks before acting, someone smart, a critical thinker, someone independent. Someone who doesn't just ignore homeless people. A person who would work at a soup kitchen. Perhaps a child who would spearhead a recycling drive at their school. Someone who donates blood, or bone marrow or would sign their organ donor card.

I want a child who realizes that they have a responsibility to the world, and humankind in general.

How can I ensure this? How do I not raise a snot-nosed punkass kid? I've never raised a child before, how do I know?

I think that having a child will make me a better person too, because I will have to step-up my game.

I want my children to be a better person than me.

Universal Language of Babies

This might sound bizarre, but I have always been interested in childrearing theories. Even when I was in the partiest of modes, hitting the bars every Friday night, I was keen on learning hints about raising children. I stumbled across this in my web travels, and I find it absolutely fascinating, and can't wait to use it in the field, when I have babies of my own. This woman, Priscilla Dunstan, has isolated what she believes are 5 "words" that all babies use to communicate their needs. These words stem from reflexes that, unless they are responded to, and reinforced to the baby that they are working, will disappear by about 3 months of age. So basically, these reflexes are only present from 0 to 3 months of age, so unless you have responded to the words and shown your baby that they work, and they can/should continue to use them to communicate with you, they won't use them anymore. Basically, if your child is 6 months old, its too late. Watch the video of her on Oprah, it explains it all:



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Essentially, the baby will use these words, or make the sounds right before they head into a full-on cry. So you have to listen carefully to the "pre-cry". The 5 "words" are:

• "Neh" which means they are hungry. The emphasis is on the "enn" sound at the beginning of the vocalisation. This stems from the shape of the mouth as the child suckles.
• "Owh" which means they are sleepy. This is almost like a yawn sound. Makes sense eh?
• "Heh" which indicates they have some kind of discomfort. Too hot, too cold, wet diaper, etc. The focus is on the "h" sound.
• "Eair" which means they have gas in the lower belly. And I think, that they need to "evacuate" if you know what I mean... this focus is on the "r" sound.
• "Eh" which means they have gas in the upper belly, and need to be burped.

If you watch the video, you'll see examples of the different sounds and how to differentiate. Its really quite fascinating.