Bad news is that I am not pregnant this cycle.
Crap. What a disappointment.
That's also the old news. The disappointment that is.
Good news is that it seems like my cycles just might be regulating. Seems that having a kid or nursing or perhaps gaining 40lbs (OMG that hurts just to see it in black and white) has extended my cycles by 4 days. Odd. But whatever.
I guess its totally true what they say about only having a 20% chance of getting pregnant even under perfect circumstances.
I looked into the costs of IUI at the new clinic (the old one closed down). My old doctor is there. She said that we should only try for 4 months before we contact them again. So, t-minus 2 months. I will still hope beyond hope that we can get 'er done without medical help again. It looks like now that they are a totally private clinic, they are charging $200 admin fee on top of the $350 sperm-washing fee for the IUI. Add to that the cost of the clomid which is about $80 and the cost of the HCG (trigger) shot which was about $90. Which means that the cost of baby #2 (if IUI even works a second time) would hover somewhere around $750. Ouch. Very very ouch.
Could be worse, could be thousands for IVF. Shit, it could even come to that. I wonder if we will go that far if thats what it takes. I doubt it. I think we might be a one child family. I really hope it doesn't come to that. I really want at LEAST two, preferably three, at the most four.
Trent deserves a sibling.
Wow, the thought of failing at #2 is bringing me way down.
I'll stop worrying about it, since it's only month #2.
Cross your e-fingers for me, mmmmkay?
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Bad news is that I am not pregnant this cycle.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Just found out last night that some good friends of ours are expecting. She is about 5 weeks along, its very early. Actually, I am not even supposed to know, but my husband knows the consequences of breaking the husband and wife circle of trust...
So, of course, the second thing that pops into my head, after "I can't believe you didn't tell me two days ago when you first found out you prick!" was, how cool would it be if I am pregnant this cycle too??
See, Trent was concieved about 6 weeks after our other good friends daughter was conceived. They are now BFFs and are practically engaged to be married. ;)
We would have both of our kids be very close in age to the children of our two bestest couple-friends. How great would that be?! Pretty great.
And now that I have let the blogosphere know about it, it will NEVER actually happen...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
At least in my case. You might think that now that I have been blessed with a kid (the best kid in the universe, excepting his sleeping habits) I wouldn't be so bitter about people who get pregnant without even trying.
I saw a random update on facebook congratulating someone who I don't even really know on her pregnancy. I know enough to know that she just got married a few months ago. Perhaps I am being naive to assume that they didn't start trying until they got married, but I have no reason to think that isn't the case. And when I read this, I was struck by an immediate reaction. It all took place in my head, but if it had been verablised, it would have sounded something like this:
oh fawk off
The miraculous first time trying for the second child of people that struggled for their first don't bother me. But otherwise, yeah, it bugs me.
It shouldn't. But it does.
If we have to have another IUI for #2 (which is my fear) it will hurt.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
So, this is our second month trying. We missed the window on our first month, so this month we are going to get started a few days earlier in the cycle in hopes that we catch it this time. I have worries that I have a caustic babymaker, and that perhaps, like the Death Star, it destroys anything that tries to get into its airspace. That would really suck. At any rate, the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) told me after we got pregnant last time, that we should try for about 4 months the second go 'round, and if we had no luck, that we were to go see her again. So, at least I don't have to wait a year.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
What could I expect? To get pregnant on the first try out?
Well, part of me hoped for it.
One of my IRL IF friends got PG by ACCIDENT with her second, and another IRL IF friend got PG their first cycle trying.
But not me.
It wasn't as crushing as it used to be just before we got pregnant with Trent, but if it goes on for very long, it will get that way, and probably soon. Not as crushing, but a little bit crushing.
When you've had trouble getting PG with your first, trying for your second is kinda like starting ahead of the gate. It's almost like this is the 4th or 5th month of disappointment. I'd really really really like to not have to go to a clinic to get pregnant again. My cycles are just so out of whack. Our TTCing has to be like scatter shot. We've got to cover every possible day that I could be ovulating. Sucks.
Because my cycles have been quite a bit longer since having T, we totally messed up the timing of last cycle. We were too late by a day or so. Shit, not as much as I had originally thought. That's no good.
The whole "only a 20% chance under perfect circumstances" is a bitch. Is it even 20%? That seems high.
I don't want to drop tons of cash on OPKs, especially since Trent needs new clothes AGAIN.
I know alot of people out there will have no sympathy for me, since I have a child, but I want another one, two more in fact, and this IF stuff sucks. Its crazy how fast it can consume you all over again.