Baby Dreams

Since we’ve been trying, hardcore, for 7 cycles now, I would have thought that the baby dreams would have kicked in earlier. You know, back when I WAS excited about the idea. But, no, it’s taken more than 9 months since we decided that it was time to procreate, in order for the baby dreams to kick in. The first dream was of a positive pregnancy test. Of note though, is that this test was about the size of an etch-a-sketch (no reference to Juno intended). It was also well cryptic. The way to know if it was positive or not was whether a certain set of words turned bold. They were medical words, like lab results, nothing easy like “pregnant” or “not pregnant”. The first time I looked at it, I though it was positive, and then I looked again, thinking, wait, no, is it this set that is to be bold, or is it the other. WTF! My subconscious likes to torment me, I’ve discovered.
The most recent baby dream was that I was given a baby to change, I think it was a test of some kind, and the baby was changed and all swaddled up, and there was a maid, who thought that the baby was just a bunch of clothes, so she took him, and put him in a pile of dirty clothes. Cue me scrambling to find the baby. It wasn’t traumatic though. I woke from that dream feeling good, as though I had “saved” the baby. The last shred of the dream was the poor thing crying, and me holding and calming him. Felt nice. With 3 days until this cycle ends, I am starting to get hopeful again. Crap.