Whoa, that was a bit of a wallow

Like a hippo in the mud in tropical Africa, I was rolling around in a little bit of misery there. Don't be mistaken, I am not "over it", but I am going to try and maintain a little bit of perspective. Thanks to all who commented, you made some very valid points.
I am still young, and we still do have options. But it was kind of like the death of a dream, so I guess I was just mourning that. Really self-indulgently.
But, onward and upward as they say. I have other things to be sad about.

My family was here for a week and a bit. We had a family reunion. It was awesome. My folks live in LA and my sister and BIL live in Vancouver, so we don't all get together very often. In the past 2 years with my wedding and my sister's wedding, we've been seeing each other every 6 months instead of every 12 to 18 months, so its been nice. But I am afraid that we'll all now slack to seeing each other once every other year again. I am lucky in that I get along with my family very well. My sister and I can really bicker, but I think that as we get older we get better. I just really love having them around. I love having a house full of people. We have 2 full guest bedrooms so there is room for everyone. They just left about 15 minutes ago and the house seems so empty now. They didn't even piss me off even a little bit this trip, so I can't even lean on that to be less sad, and more glad, that they have finally cleared out. So, that's why I want to have about 4 kids...keep the house rammed full of people. I like hearing people moving around downstairs when I am in bed, falling asleep. It reminds me a lot of my childhood. Feels nice.
I won't even get into how disappointed I am that my kids won't know their grandparents and aunt that well.
But I will stop before I start to wallow again.

Things could be worse.