Sunday, April 27, 2008

K' these baby dreams have got to stop

I don't know what this means, what Freud or Jung would say about this proliferation of baby dreams. I never used to have baby dreams, but last night I had my 3rd. The significance of this is compounded by the fact that I don't really ever remember my dreams. Ever. But last night, I had a pretty vivid dream. Some of the things were pretty clear (like my fear that I will be unable to breastfeed) but others didn't really make sense. So, here's how it went down.

I had twins, fraternal, a boy and a girl. My husband wasn't around though, and he wasn't there for the birth, or even after. Weird thing was, I didn't know I was pregnant. Now, I am a bit of a chubby chick, but not so much that I could go to term and not notice a rounder belly. Don't know what that meant.
Then, and this is the second dream to feature this, but, apparently, I forgot to feed my babies for a few days. They weren't hungry or fussing unduly, but I hadn't fed them. And then, when I tried to breast feed, it wasn't working. No milk. And I think, nurses had given them pacifiers or bottles, and I was angry at them for effing up my ability to breastfeed.
There was something else, but, I didn't write it down right away after waking up, so I forgot some of it. The things I can recall most vividly were a) my husband not being around, b) not knowing I was PG, c) having fraternal twins (boy and girl) d) being unable to breastfeed.

I suspect that it has something to do with the fact that we saw BabyMama last night. Oh, and that we have been watching the first season of LOST, and there is a pregnant woman on the show. I didn't wake up sobbing or anything, because the dream wasn't real, but it certainly makes the ache a little more intense.
I'm around O time, heading into the 2WW too, so this is when the longing gets a little more acute anyway.

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