Dr. Jekyll and Lady Hyde

I cannot stand being at the mercy of my pituitary gland. That little chunk of brain matter that decides what hormones to push out and when. Its like a little mustachioed dictator in there, and I would like to usurp it. I cannot stand not being in full control of my emotions. This is the wind-up of this cycle, so I am experiencing the premenstrual hormone dump, and it's literally making me crazy.
Last night, I burst into tears watching "The Green Mile", because it's basically all about death, and I couldn't stand the thought of Rich or me not being around for each other when one of us cacks out. And its going to happen. And it scares the shit out of me.
Periodically this weekend, I have said mean things to Rich, and threatened him with physical violence, and really wanted to do it. My temper has a hair trigger.
And yet, this morning? Great mood. Laughing with coworkers, having a blast decorating someone's office for their birthday. Great mood.

What
The
Hell?

Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time and give Eve a nice big bitchslap for taking a bite of that apple.